★ If . . .
Yeah, If :)That word haunts me every second and every beats. I never tell this to anyone include my BFF. I am ready to let you go, forever. Rest in peace :')
That day was a very bright and the sun was very sunny. That was the day I met HIM. The guy that always cause chaos in my life. I am truthfully not being emo or anything. Its just a story that I hate the most.
He, was the love of life at that moment. Everything that is about him is perfect for me. He's my first love. My first to everything that is kinda cheesy. Yeah. I do love him. Yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. He's not that handsome but he's the most charming guy ever. We met thru a friend. My girlfriend. He taught all of the sense that you'll never feel. If I know about his situation. I won't say that such words. You know what did I said to him? He text me. He said that he miss me and he wanna tell something about life and death and I don't even give a fuck on what he said.
' Hang babi. Aku meluat hang. I hope that you'll burn in hell. Stop giving me any bloody excuse. We're done !'
We're together like three month. Everyday is so damn precious when he's there with me. He's 14 at that time and I'm 12. Yeah, I am so childish but he's always stay calm and relax. I know that I'll never meet that type of guy anymore. But death, we can't stop it. I am so ugly, tanned and hideous but he convinced me that I am the prettiest and cutest girl he had met. I thought that he's lying but hell yeah, he's not.
Everything is fine until he make the decision to dump me and he said that he had met someone that is far way better than me. He talk in a harsh way. But that girl is not his GF, she's his cousin. That moment is being difficult t me. Yeah.
After three month later, an unknown called me. And I pick it up. And that was him. He sounds so happy. I don't know why.
Him ; Raihan, tut tut nak minx maaf. Sbb dh bnyak susahkan hati Raihan. I've found the way to spill everything today.
Me ; Hang nak apa? Tak cukup lg? Weh sudah laa. Aku benci hg. Hang babi.
Him ; I know that things could get even worst if I don't tell you the truth.
Me ; Truth? Hang babi. Aku meluat hang. I hope that you'll burn in hell. Stop giving me any bloody excuse. We're done !
And about a month later, his sister called me with tears. She said that his lil brother was dead. You'll never know how much miserable I felt at that beat. I've done so many bad things to him. And I asked why? She said that he got leukemia. He had it before we met but the doctor said that he could cure him if he's being well treated. I am so sorry I couldn't stop crying!
'I just wanna say, don't hurt people even we hated them so much'.
I just want you to know that I really miss you and everytime I pray, I'll pray for your happiness no matter where you are. You told me that everytime I missed you, stare at the sky and watch the star you'll be there and wave at me. No ! You're lying. Please, please come back to me. Just give me a time to say sorry. I've been a mess but you never yell at me. Don't you know that until now, I couldn't love any guy like I love you. I hope that I could see you one more time. Please, I'm begging you. Appear in my dream and smile. I missed those beautiful smile. I missed those teeth that I used to call it RABBIT. You know that you're everything, you say that you'll love me forever. Your last word to me is ' I am sorry love. I've messed up and you know that you're the one. I love you, Siti Nur Raihan '. I should forget you but I can't. Really. You meant the world to me. But when I met Wafi, I always believe that you're still alive in Wafi's body. He has much in common with you. But, he's not you after all. And that is why I love Wafi. I am sorry. I do love you a lot but I don't say it real loud. I miss you so much. Like a zillion of stars in the sky. I wish that you give me a second so I could say, I am sorry. I love you.
'We start it in the middle of Jamadil Akhir. We ended up in Syaaban and you're dead in Ramadhan'
P.S ; This is a real story. This is about me and Syed Adi. The only story that I won't erase even with the tragedy it brings.
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